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Saturday, August 11, 2007
I’ve been through 8 weeks of military life. I’ve to admit that my relationship with God grew distant by the day back in camp where time is not within my control. Compromising my service attendance due to situations at home (mainly due to my dad’s disapproval) did not help much either. There was one stage that I even thought I did not need God anymore!

However, the recent outfield experience (which was also one of the most challenging experiences) taught me that it’s not because of who I am but because of what God has done. The weather was scorching hot and the whole company was being “roti prata” (being punished). I feel so much like giving up and cried out to God, “God! Why are you letting these happening to me? If you can and are willing, bring the clouds over me and ease my pain and exhaustion.” Immediately, clouds covered the sky and the sun was no longer in our sight. “I am with you, with me, you can do all things. Trust in me”, that was what God implanted into my heart.

I've tasted mud and sand. In fact, I've eaten with hands that have not been washed for 6 days stained by camouflage oils, soil and other you-know-whats. It is hard to imagine the tattered bare hands were once smooth, blister-free and soft. – I survived, due to the encouragement from God.

Finding me all cramped in the middle of the night where the merciless darkness shrouds up is but common. Out there, waking up leaves you more disoriented. My soft bolster on the bed had been replaced with a hard, cold, and oddly-shaped rifle. – I survived, due to the encouragement from God.

Through this time where you are back to the basics, you run, you crawl, and you prone, you duck, you conceal and you push forward… my instincts were to follow God’s direction for me and not to rely on my own strengths and understanding.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding – Proverbs 3:5

God will break you to make you for bigger things and to understanding his pleasing will. Do not harden your heart, do what He prompts you.

- Sheng Long

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