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Sunday, May 20, 2007
Learning to Surrender

This month I was repeatedly shaken by the evil one. Starting of this month, we were having our Primers’ Orientation Camp (POC). Before this camp, as we were having GL training, Shenglong was injured. He suffered a nose dislocation. As both Shenglong and I were the family head for this camp, I was worried that he might not be able to continue as family head due to his injury. Thoughts kept going through my mind, “What am I suppose to do if I have to be the family head alone without Shenglong?” “Should I tell them that I can’t do it and ask them to find another family head?” “Can I really carry out my role as family head?”

I was really in a dilemma. But PRAISE THE LORD! Shenglong was all well to continue as the family head along with me.

Just as everything was fine, evil thoughts hit upon me again on the first day of our camp. I can’t explain for what reason, I kept feeling very depressed and discouraged. Every time when Shenglong and I, family heads, stand in front of the freshies to cheer/dance/talk, a voice in me seem to tell me “Look at Shenglong, you can’t compare to him, you’re lousy!”

I can’t understand why I have such thoughts. This made me really discouraged. Towards the last day of the camp, Pastor Danny invited me to share my testimonial in Primers with the freshies. The night before this, I was thinking through what should I share to the freshies? How should I explain to them how it feels like to be in this family?

At that night, I received these words from Father,

“What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.”
Romans 8:31-33


These verses brought back my courage to stand firmer to serve God. It is not the people out there to judge how I perform, but it is God who will look at my performance because I’m the one He has chosen. I’m not going to do all the things, thinking that it is for the people, but I will do all things, thinking that it is for Father in Heaven. Amen!

The last day of POC, as I was about to share my testimonial to the year ones, my mind went blank. I was always prepared when giving a speech/talk. But that moment, I went blank even though I “rehearsed” with Pastor Danny about the things I am going to share before this. If you asked me now what did I shared, I don’t remember clearly. However, after my sharing, few year ones came up to me and told me that my testimonial spoke to them! I’m really much moved. All I did was to trust in God that my testimonial will speak to every one of them and they will feel the love and family in Primers. Thank you Father!

The next week after POC, my brother suffered an internal injury in his right shoulder because of a fall in school after his examination and couldn’t move much. Because of this, my whole family is very worried and the atmosphere is intense. And that week is also the week I am going for my graduation trip to Genting. Furthermore, it is the week of Primers’ Award and Jackie Pullinger Conference! Everything went wrong that week!

In my heart, Pastor Danny’s words came across me, “the evil knows when we’re working for God and will try ways to harm our loved ones and our heart.” As I even serve in a different level in Primers, the evil wants to prevent my heart to serve.

Today, my brother is still in recovering. But because of all the incidents this month, I learnt to surrender my everything into God and trust in Him.

Brothers and Sisters, especially Primers, I knew that things will go wrong as we even serve in a higher level this year. But, let’s learn to surrender to God and trust in Him. I pray that we will stand even more united and support one another during this time. Amen Amen Amen!

P/S: Continue to keep our leaders in strong prayer for they’re the one that the evil will attack first. Pray for protection.


-Diana ^-^

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