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Tuesday, March 07, 2006

'Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such {a word} as is good for edification according to the need {of the moment,} so that it will give grace to those who hear.' ---- Ephesians 4:29

I think the New Living Translation version really drives home the point. It reads: 'Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.'

For those who have not watched I Not Stupid Too, in the show the parents of Tom would always scold him before giving him a chance to explain. And everything tat he does well, winning a blog competition, helping the dad fix his laptop etc, the parents would either said it was a waste of time or blamed him for spoiling the laptop in the first place before repairing it. It made him feel that whatever he does is not appreciated and that he is useless. And so when he was labeled a bad apple, he just embraced that title and even joined a gang coz they seemed to appreciate him. Even got him to be incharge of their gang's website. hahaha....

The chinese teacher in the show cared a lot. Even used his own money to buy dictionaries for his students. But everytime they got bad results, he would say things like 'You all are beyond help!' or 'Just 10 marks??' And all the students just expects him to be scolding them for the bad results. One of the younger teachers told him this: 'Every student is like a door.. and tat door has been shut (to the teachers) long ago. So we need to find the key tat will open tat door. Then they will listen.'

I strongly believed that the key is AFFIRMATION... to say things that build and not tear down. So that their hearts will not be shut and will still be open to us.. open to God. Is it easy to do tat all the time? No! It is not easy at all to always look at the good side of things (improving from 10 marks to 12 marks) and ignore the bad things (getting 10 marks out of 100). It requires a lot of love. Like what Pastor said in the sermon love that is the motivation for labour...labour to build them up. And it is impossible to love apart from first being filled with God's love.

It's the same with spiritual parenting. To love our 'sons' and 'daughters' with the love of God, to look at the good in them and not the bad... to cut away the bad part of the apple so that the apple still can be eaten... To encourage and to encourage them to grow towards God. The frustrations at our own inabilities to show them the love we have for them... The pain in seeing them go wayward... The pain of feeling totally powerless to steering them back to the path towards God.... all these are the labour of love... onward to a ministry tat counts. So let's press on in faith and hope to see them becoming one who fears and loves God!!

One scene remains deeply entrenched in my memory..... When Jack Neo fell to his knees to beg the old lady to forgive his son and to take his place as the one who robbed her. Such is the love of the Father.

Father i pray for that supernatural love. So tat i will see the good in people and not just the bad. To always be in that spirit of encouragement and affirmation. To be wise to know when to encourage, when to discipline. Amen.

Lionel

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